


I Wish You'd Remember Me

by Chazene



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Agent Reign, AgentReign, Danvarias, Established SuperCorp, F/F, Memory Loss, Ruby is a little shit trying to set her mom up, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-20 18:22:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17627300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chazene/pseuds/Chazene
Summary: Sam and Ruby finally return to National City. And Sam is keen on seeing one person. But what happens what that one person doesn't remember her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This popped into my head this morning, and well I couldn't stop writing it.
> 
> FOR THE SAKE OF EXPLANATION
> 
> This is after Alex's mind wipe and having Supergirl erased, also had Reign (and Sam) erased, but not Ruby.  
> Sam still has powers but Reign is gone  
> Lena and Kara are dating and Lena already knows Kara is Supergirl (her mind was NOT wiped)  
> Nia and Brainy are in this  
> And Ruby wants to set her mom up with Alex.

I Wish You’d Remember Me

 

One year. Sam never meant for time to drag on this way. She never meant to stay away. All she wanted was time with just her and Ruby. Time for them to recover. Time for Sam to build her safety net. Time for Ruby to recover from seeing her mother as a mindless beast. Sam knew that would take time, but she didn’t think it would be a year. One year had passed since and Ruby had left National City, and there was one reason why she wanted to return. Alex Danvers. She didn’t quite know what she felt for Alex Danvers, but she knew it was more than just friendship. She hadn’t seen or talked to Alex in a year. That was a mistake. It was a mistake because Sam was sure if she at least talked to Alex, maybe she’d be back in National City now, maybe would have been back for weeks, or even months, rather than on a plane a year after she last saw beautiful brown hairs and fiery hair. She missed her friend. And she had so much to thank Alex for. Sure, she said thank you plenty of times after Reign was finally gone. But Sam felt like those words would never be enough. Alex kept Ruby safe. And for that, Sam owes her everything. She’d never be able to repay that debt. Alex kept Ruby safe. No one asked her to, very few people took much regard for Ruby, no one but Alex, Lena, and Kara. But Alex was there, she was there for Ruby beginning, middle, and end. And she has to pay that debt. Sam doesn’t know what she’s going to do. Ask Alex out? No, too much time has passed, they need to become friends again first. Maybe at least buy her a drink? That would be an idea, but she wouldn’t know how Alex would feel being alone at a bar with the woman that nearly killed her sister.

         Oh yes. She remembers. It still haunted Sam’s nightmares. She almost killed Alex’s little sister. And Sam wondered how Alex could still smile at her. She, she broke Alex’s leg. She broke Alex’s leg and Alex still smiled. It might not have been _her,_ but it was. Sam remembers everything. She remembers everything she did as Reign. She remembers burning that crest into a field, she remembers dropping Kara from a building. She remembers the horrified look on Alex Danvers’ face. She remembers Lena holding her captive as she tried to find a cure. She remembers defeated Reign. But she remembers all the bad things. Ruby was the only thing keeping her up through the past year. And Sam felt it was time. She felt it was time to go home. But panic set in as the wheels touched the ground at National City Airport. And that panic didn’t subside at the plane was greeted by a personal care, and none other than Lena Luthor.

         Sam nervously stepped out of the plane, but Ruby was skipping along, happy to see a familiar face. Lena stepped up to Sam and smiled.

         “Can I hug you,” she asks, seeing the nerves Sam was radiating. She opened her arms and welcomed the familiarity of Lena. She missed her friend. She missed their long talks of science and business, (which before she left, Kara’s named always spilled out of Lena’s lips,) and Sam wonders if Lena finally struck the nerve to ask her out. But so much has happened. So much time has passed. Sam hasn’t talked to anyone in the year she was absent, she’d only texted Lena once, a month ago, saying that she was coming up. She didn’t follow up, and she didn’t call Lena after, so can she really just pick up where she left off with one of her closest friends?

         “Ruby,” Lena says with a smile. She hugs the teenager tight, “welcome home.”

         “I missed you,” Ruby says. And Sam feels a bit guilty. She shouldn’t have kept Ruby away from her friends for so long. Ruby always said she understood, and that she would rather just stay with her mom, not worrying about making new friends during their sabbatical. Ruby truly was an amazing, beautiful, wonderful daughter, but Sam should have come home sooner. Because even though she was her daughter, she was a teenager, and teens needed to be out and about. There was really no way around that, and Sam was acutely aware that Ruby missed her friends.

         “I like the glasses,” Lena commented, seeing the lead-lined glasses that now sat on Sam’s face.

         “Where do you want to go first,” Lena asked, walking with Sam and Ruby back to the car. “Your apartment?”

         Sam was curious. She sold that apartment, she left it behind. The beautiful home she’d made with Ruby, long since forgotten since they’d left.

         “It’s not mine anymore.”

         “Technically, no, but…”

         “But,” Sam dragged out.

         “I may have bought it,” Lena said casually.

         “Oh god, you didn’t fill it with flowers did you,” Sam quipped. It was a natural reflex. In their conversations, Sam always made sure to keep them light-hearted, adding a bit of sarcasm here and there, feeling it was made Lena feel safe, at ease. But it had been so long since she had a conversation like that, would it still be welcomed. Well, Lena was laughing. So maybe it was a start.

         “That was one time, and she deserved it.”

         “Then you bought her CatCo.”

         “Well, that was…”

         “And built her a new suit,”

         Lena finally had no words.

         “So, did you finally do it?”

         And if Lena’s smile was proof enough, Lena and Kara were finally dating.

         “About damn time Ms. ‘To have your fists connect with something so solid, so powerful’”

         “And what about you,” Lena bit back. Sam winced. She knew Lena didn’t mean anything by jabbing back at her dating life. And Lena knew Sam took no offence, but, Lena knew it would be hard.

         “I’m sorry.”

         “It’s fine, it’s…I miss being here. I miss you, I miss Kara, and,” Sam breathed heavily, “I miss Alex.”

         Lena showed a sympathetic smile, “I know. And, well I’ll tell you later. Let’s get you home first. This news needs to be taken lightly.”

         “She’s not married, is she?”

         Lena laughed, “No. No she’s not, but,” Lena paused, “I’ll explain everything later. Kara will be by later with your housewarming gift. She might be able to explain a bit better than I can.”

         Sam wouldn’t push. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a conversation to be had right away. It would wait. Sam, and Ruby squished next to each other in the car and Lena took the passenger seat, as Lena’s driver drove off.

         And God did Sam miss the city. She missed the sights, the sounds, the busy life of a working city. She and Ruby decided to stick to the outskirts when they were in Metropolis. Very rarely did she go into the city and when she did, Clark Kent was always close by in case Sam had a breakdown. Kara had given her his number, basically ordering Superman to help her friend. And he helped, a bit, but Sam wouldn’t really see Clark Kent as a friend, maybe more of a therapist, a teacher, telling her how to control her superpowers without fearing Reign. She was still very scared of her powers. And she needed to talk to Kara about them, she needed to Alex. God, she really needed to talk to Alex. And she needed to see her. She needed to talk to her, hear her voice. She really wanted Alex back in her life.

         “Do you think we can see Alex,” Ruby asked quietly. Ruby had asked about her a few times the past year. Sam usually tried to shrug off the question, talking about Alex was difficult. Ruby sensed that, but Sam knew Ruby also really liked Alex. They’d built a close connection with Alex as she hid Ruby from Reign. And Sam shouldn’t be one to deny Ruby that relationship. But Sam wanted to talk to Alex first. She needed to tell her how she felt, whatever those feelings may be.

         “Soon, we should get settled in first. I’ll call her tonight.” But will she? Can Sam work up the confidence to call the one woman that made her nervous beyond all reason. The one whose eyes she’d dreamt about more than once that past year, the woman who helped bring her back from Reign’s darkness. The one who kept her daughter safe.

         And Sam could see the worrying look in Lena’s eyes, and it caused her more concern over what happened in the past year. But Lena gave a reassuring smile.

         And so, the rest of the ride was spent in a weirdly comfortable silence. And when they arrived to their apartment, Sam felt relief in a familiar setting. Nothing had changed. Sam hadn’t taken anything but a few pictures from the apartment. She’d left everything else behind. And Lena had taken it upon herself to buy the apartment, somehow knowing that she’d return.

         “I can’t thank you enough for doing this Lena.”

         Lena smiled, “Sam, you’re my friend. I don’t know how you’ve been the past year, you can tell me, you don’t have to, I don’t need to know. I just want you back. You have people who have missed you. I’ve missed you, and I think you’ve missed us. I bought this apartment so that I could keep one piece of you around, knowing you’d return.”

         Sam wanted to tear up, hearing her friend confessed she had missed her. And Lena enveloped her in a hug, bringing Ruby in with the hug.

         “Welcome home,” Lena whispered.

         “Thank you,” Sam and Ruby said together. Sam and Ruby broke off and walked to Ruby’s bedroom first. Ruby ran into her old room and jumped into her old bed. And Sam laughed at the sight, it was good to be home. She slowly walked to the master bedroom and opened the door. She took in the sight with a somber feeling. And loneliness was a thought that came to mind. Loneliness. No one had ever shared this bed. Well, Ruby would sneak in some mornings, and Sam cherished those moments. But when Ruby goes off to college in, god, less than 5 years, who is going to be with her? Will Sam have found someone to love by then? Could it, Sam chastised herself, but she couldn’t help but think of Alex.

         Knock, knock. Now who could that possibly be?

         “Ah, that would be the housewarming gift,” Lena said, walking to answer the door. But the door opened revealing a gift she was not ready to receive. Because at her door was none other than Alex Danvers. Alex Danvers was standing in front of her with a bottle of wine in one hand, and a bunch of flowers in the other.

         “Hey Lena, Kara got called back into CatCo, so she had me drop by with the gifts. She said sorry and that she’ll see you toni…Oh,” Alex stopped herself. And Sam’s heart stopped. She wanted to badly to jump into Alex’s arms. Hug her tight, tell her that she was sorry for leaving. Sorry that she didn’t come back sooner. She wanted to say thank you for caring for Ruby. She wanted to say thank you for believing in her, thank you for not giving up. But something was wrong, there was no recognition in Alex’s eyes, at least not the recognition she thought. “Hello, have…” Alex paused, seemingly trying to place who Sam was, “have we met?”

         Was Alex joking around? “You seem familiar, but…doesn’t matter. I’m Alex Danvers. I believe Lena told me your name was Sam?”

         Heartbreak. How could Alex not remember? Was…was the caring Alex showed for her just a ruse? Was it all a lie?

         “Nice to meet you,” Alex continued, extending her hand. And Sam shook it, having almost no words to say, no words to describe how she felt other than heartbreak. She wanted to cry. She wanted to go back to Metropolis, and Alex wouldn’t have cared. How could she forget in just one year.”

         “ALEX,” Ruby screamed from across the hall. Oh no. Will Alex rem…

         “RUBY,” Alex screamed in delight, picking Ruby up in arms. “Welcome home.”

         What the hell is going on? Sam was baffled. Because, seriously, what the fuck is going on?

         Lena pulled her aside. “I’ll give you a minute to catch up.”

         “Lena,” Sam said as Lena pushed her into her bedroom, “Spill, now. What is happening?”

         Lena winced, “I was hoping Kara could explain this. A while back, there was a new face at the DEO. And then, Kara was fired.”

         Sam’s jaw dropped, “I’m sorry what?”

         “Colonel Hayley then wanted Supergirl to reveal her identity, and Kara refused. So Hayley ordered everyone at the DEO to be questioned, more like interrogated.”

         “Okay, what…what does this have to do with Alex? And why does she remember Ruby and not me?”

         “That’s, that’s where it gets complicated. Alex ordered everyone at the DEO who has worked with Supergirl to meet with J’onn, and, well they all had they’re minds wiped of the memory of Kara being Supergirl. Only two people in the city, well now four with you and Ruby, now about Kara being Supergirl.”

         “But why doesn’t Alex remember me?”

         “About a month ago, when you texted me that you were coming home. I told Alex and Kara, and, Alex didn’t remember you. She remembered Ruby, but not you. And, I,” Lena paused, concerned about bringing her up, “I think Reign, with Reign and Alex’s mind wipe of Supergirl, I think Reign, and subsequently you, were wiped from that.”  
         Sam was distraught. Alex doesn’t remember her. She won’t remember her. And, Sam just wanted to curl up and cry, but she could hear Ruby and Alex laughing in the other room. And, she really missed her laugh. And she didn’t want to be angry, she didn’t want to cry, she, she needed to get up and see Alex smile.

         And so she snapped up from the bed and raced to the family room where Ruby and Alex were chatting. Ruby was smiling wider than she had been for a while. It was clear that she had really missed Alex and Sam wished she hadn’t waited so long. Her heart wished

\---

         Alex was curious. She knew this woman. Somehow, from somewhere, she knew her. There was a flit in her chest, she felt it when Sam looked at her, but she didn’t know her. Which was a shame, because she was fucking gorgeous. Like holy shit, what are the odds, gorgeous. And then there was Ruby, sweet, kind, funny, Ruby. The girl that only reinforced her wanting of a child. Deep in Alex’s mind, there was a string that connected Ruby to her and Maggie’s breakup, but Alex never let that string get far, cutting it before it was able to tie itself at the forefront of her mind. And than never bothered her anymore, no, what bothered her is that Alex didn’t know Sam’s mother. Where had she been when she was taking care of Ruby? Surely she’d have met her, but, Alex can’t remember. Sam seems so familiar, and yet, Alex knows she’s never met her. She’s never seen her, a shame really, but Alex knows she’d had to have met her. But all memories say otherwise, she’s never met Sam, and Alex doesn’t know why.

\---

         Kara had dropped by that night, long after Alex and Lena took her their leave and profusely apologized. She wanted to be there, but, as a first, she truly was whisked away for CatCo.

         “I suppose you have a lot of questions. But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to have Ruby here, because, well, I think she should hear this.”

         “Hey Rubes,” Sam called out. And Ruby bounded out of her room and she perked up at seeing Kara.

         “Kara,” she squealed, hugging Kara tight.

         “Hey kid, I’ve missed you.”

         “What’s been going on? I’ve seen a bit on the news, you’ve been quite busy.”

         “Yeah, about that, there’s been some, well there’s been something that has happened.”

         Ruby curled up with her mother.

         “So, I no longer work for the DEO. The people who saved your mom from Reign, the people Alex work with, I don’t work for them. It’s, rather political right now, and I can’t really explain much. The president sent in an asset of his, a colonel and she’s, tyrannical. In short, she wants to know Supergirl’s identity. And, I refused to let that happen, and Alex refused as well. But, this Colonel is hellbent on finding out who I am, so, J’onn and Alex came to a decision, they decided to wipe the minds of everyone at the DEO who knows who I am, wipe their minds of knowing,” Kara tremored, her eyes watering. “Alex doesn’t know I’m Supergirl, and she also wants me, well Supergirl me to stay out of her way.”

         Ruby was quietly listening, which surprised Sam, because Sam was sure Ruby had questions.

         “Alex doesn’t know who I am, and,” Kara sighed, showing a compassionate smile to Sam, “She doesn’t know who your mother is either.”

         A flash of hurt zipped through Ruby. “But she remembered me.”

         “Yeah, Lena thinks it had something to do with Reign. Mind wiping is a very delicate process, and Alex is already beginning to think something is wrong. She knows something is missing from her mind. But we can’t force her to remember, it will either come back naturally, or, hopefully, when I figure out how to deal with Colonel Hayley.”

         “So you’re saying she may remember me as time passes,” Sam said, breaking her silence in the conversation.

         “Maybe, but,” Kara showed a defeated slump, as if what she had to say could destroy Sam. “You need to approach delicately, she’s already suspicious of me. And, if handled poorly, J’onn says her mind could be permanently damaged and she may never recover the memories lost.”

         “Kara,” Sam replied with disgust, “How could you possibly be okay with this?”

         “I’M NOT OKAY WITH IT,” Kara screamed back She bit her tongue from her outburst, “I’m not. I never wanted this, Alex said it was the only way to keep me safe. I never wanted this. I want my sister to know who I am. She’s the reason I became Supergirl, and she’s the only who’s always seen the best in me and made me strive to become better, to be better. And you know how painful that is to not know who you are without the one person in your life that makes you better.”

         Sam looked to Ruby, who smiled up at her mother. ‘Yeah, I know.”

         “So, look, I won’t pretend to know what your relationship with Alex was, because I don’t. But I know you guys were really close, and I know she’s one of the reasons you came back. And I know how badly you want to talk to her. So, please just,” Kara sighed, “let me try to fix this. I promise you I will, and I will help get Alex back to you. Because, Sam she really missed you.”

         And there it was, the guilt she knew she’d hear. She just expected to hear that from Alex. But just knowing that, just knowing Alex missed her, spread a small flur of warmth.

         “I’m sorry for leaving.”

         “Hey, no one blamed you guys for leaving. We all understood. You needed time.”

         “But I should have come back sooner.”

         “Maybe, maybe not, doesn’t matter. Sam, Ruby, you guys are here now. You’re back, and I know it’s really not what you were expected, and I know this isn’t what you want. But, you’re back. And Ruby,” Kara teasingly jabbed Ruby’s shoulder, “Alex is thrilled that your back. And knowing that, I need to ask a favor.”

         Ruby perked up, “A favor…from Supergirl. Ooooh.” Sam rolled her eyes.

         “I want you to spend time with Alex. She hasn’t mentioned it much, but she really missed you too. Both of you had a really profound impact on her life, and far I as I know, she thinks you’re kid that she helped protect while on a case. I’m still not entirely sure why Sam was erased from her mind, but I promise you, I’ll get you both back to how you were. You guys will be fine.”

         “Thank’s Supergirl,” Ruby gleefully replied.

         “Thank you, Kara,” Sam said, getting up from the coach. “Hey Ruby, mind if I talk to Kara a minute.”

         Ruby hopped up and walked back to her room.

         “What can I do,” Sam asked, very serious about offering powers to help.

         “Sam,” Kara defended, “I can’t force you to…”

         “No,” Sam stood ground, “I have these powers, and I want to use them for good. And if stopping whatever is happening, if that can bring Alex back, I’ll do it.”

         Kara thought on the offer, but figured she wasn’t the one to make a decision, because of course she’d say yes. Of course, she would want Sam’s help because Kara knew together, they’d stop at nothing to allow Alex to have her memories back. But J’onn should really weigh in on this. He’d have an idea or two.

        

         Surprisingly though, J’onn said yes.

         “Having Sam here, it might show the Colonel that aliens can do good. We can ask Lena to make Sam a suit and have you guys team up. It will show the Colonel, and maybe even the president, that you guys are here to stay, and that you only wish to help.”

         “Okay, I wasn’t expecting that,” Kara admitted. And Sam took a step back, wondering that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, using her powers. But, the need to have Alex back in her life, it was stronger than her fear. So, fuck it.

         “Let’s fight back,” Sam quipped, “And let’s win.”

         Kara smiled, “sounds like a plan.”

 

         However, their plan, was not easy. Basically, the only option they had was to win the trust of the public. And while Supergirl easily maintained that trust. Sam’s was a bit more difficult. They had to separate her persona from Kara’s, but also show the public that she wasn’t Reign. And then there was the suit. Lena had built her a suit, and it was simple, tactical. Sam realized Kara had also been given a new suit since she’d been gone, which Sam saw drew inspiration for her own. Kara’s new suit had no skirt, rather pants, which Sam thinks Lena happily put together, because Sam couldn’t even deny, Kara had a rockin’ body. Kara’s cape was a darker crimson color, where the symbol was emblazoned on the back of it, flapping her symbol of ‘Stronger Together’ in the wind. Kara still had the symbol on her chest, but it was a bit smaller, and Sam, while she didn’t mean to use x-ray vision, she could see the L-Corp logo printed on the inside of the suit, with an imprint of Lena’s lips under it. Sam rolled her eyes, thinking how stupidly in love the two were. Sam’s suit was similar in design, she decided to drop the cape completely, she didn’t want to copy Kara. She did take the same midnightish blue of Kara’s suit but the biggest difference between Sam’s suit and Kara’s was that Sam’s bore no symbol. It was Sam’s request. She didn’t know what she would have. She wasn’t Kara’s family, she can’t take her symbol. And she definitely didn’t want the symbol from Reign, so Sam took a simple word, printed in small Kryptonian letters printed on the sleeve of her right arm, and word was ‘Ruby’. To keep Sam’s identity hidden, Sam lost the glasses, like Kara would, and Lena had installed a small holoprojector that allowed Sam to appear slightly smaller than she actually was. It was the easiest way to keep Sam hidden from Alex, because as far as Alex knew, Sam wore glasses and was taller than the rest of them. Losing those attributes would hopefully keep her identity hidden. They weren’t expecting this charade to last much longer, but they had to take the precautions.

 She and Kara had ventured out a few times, helping save people from fires, helping the cops stop bad guys, and the occasional alien being let loose. Sam mostly stuck with helping firefighters and police, while leaving Kara deal with alien threats. If the public could see that Supers can help humanity and save them from dangerous aliens, it would improve public perception and hopefully would take Colonel Hayley of their back. J’onn thought it would be a good idea for there to be an interview with her and Supergirl, help set up the public’s ability to trust Sam. He also suggested that she do the interview and come clean about Reign. Kara was skeptical at first but allowing Sam to talk about Reign, but J’onn reassured them both that taking the honest path would prove more beneficial, people liked good comeback stories. Kara was more worried about what it would trigger with Alex, but J’onn said he’ll worry about that. And so, the interview was held. Kara interviewed Sam, adding in her own Supergirl opinion every here and there.

         Sam confessed everything. Confessed that she remembers everything she did as Reign. She confessed remembering that all she could do was watch as she hurt people, innocent people. She says that despite Reign being gone, despite Reign having no presence in her body, that she’s still scared. But she wants to help people. She wants to do good, she wants to right her wrongs. Kara asked Sam what she wanted to be called.

Many had taken to the name Sapphire. Sam wasn’t particularly fond of them, it sounded too strippery, but, it made sense. Her suit was very, very blue, and…well, sapphires…rubies…Ruby, the name honored her daughter in a way. At least that’s the way Sam saw it. Kara suggested the Kryptonese word for Sapphire, Exin, but it didn’t roll of the tongue as well as Sapphire. And so, Kara coined the moniker, Sapphire. Supergirl and Sapphire. Kara’s interview was published with very positive reception. Sam seemed surprised that the public was willing to give her a second chance. And Sam wasn’t going to waste it. She wasn’t going to waste her chance to fix everything she had broken. Sam wasn’t to waste a chance to prove that Supers just want to keep people safe. Sam wasn’t going to waste a chance of getting Alex’s mind back, getting Alex back. She hadn’t had a run in with Alex yet as Sapphire. But Sam knew it would be coming. She knew there would be a time where she is confronted by the Alex who doesn’t want Supers in her way. And Sam was very nervous for when that day come.

         But Sam figured she’d deal with that when it happened, meantime her focus was getting Ruby back into the routine they had before they left. Sam took her L-Corp job back, Lena was ecstatic, and had ordered Sam that she wouldn’t be working any more than 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Sam had wanted to argue, but Lena said that if she wanted to work on getting things back to normal, if Sam wanted to be a hero, help Kara, and get Alex back, Lena wouldn’t have her have the insane hours she used to. So Sam relented. But she was quite happy in truth, She could spend more time with Ruby. And spend more time as Sapphire. Ruby quite liked the name, much to Sam’s relief, but then asked what she would be called if she developed powers. Sam had said that they’ll approach that subject when, or if, that day arrives. She understood that her mother wanted to keep her safe. But Sam also understood that Ruby would develop powers eventually. Being a hybrid, Sam didn’t really know when that would happen. But as long as she could just hug her daughter, keep her close, and never let go, Sam was quite alright with that.

 

\---

         Sam should have said no. She really should have said no. Why on earth did she not say no?

         She was having drinks with Kara’s friends, and of course, Alex would be there. Alex would be there, and Sam had never been so nervous in her life.

         Lena and Kara were there, along with a few new faces. Nia and Brainy, what kind of name was that, both aliens, and the other two people that knew Kara’s identity. Brainy was an interesting character, but very funny. Nia was very confident, but she seemed to get flustered around Brainy. Not unlike Kara with Lena. J’onn was there, and then Alex. Alex whose new hairstyle and leather jackets made Sam gayer on the spot. Why, of all things did she say yes to this? Ruby was out with friends, and was going to stay over with them, which means Sam had the entire night to try to avoid conversation with Alex, avoid breaking down because the woman she missed more than anyone didn’t remember her.

         And that plan lasted all of five seconds, “So, Sam, how’s National City? Not too bad I hope. New cities can be nerve-racking.”

         Wow, she really doesn’t remember. Thankfully, Lena stepped in, “Oh, Sam’s lived her before. She used to work for me.”

         “Really,” Alex asked, curiously, raising a brow. If was any other time, Sam would have thought Alex was flirting. But this wasn’t any other time. Alex doesn’t know who she is. She knows Ruby, and she doesn’t know Sam. Alex was aware something was off, but she didn’t say anything. She seemed more intent to find out more about Sam, than figure out what she used to know.

         Alex began talking about different medical procedures that were being considered at the DEO, rather the FBI, as Alex was still keeping that secret. Sam tried to keep up with some of the medical jargon, remembering a bit of the conversations she had with Alex when she was trying to figure out what was wrong with Sam way back when. Alex seemed to recoil at some of the memories Sam mentioned, as if Alex was trying to remember something. J’onn gave her a warning look, one of compassion and concern, so Sam backed down. Sam half expected Alex to talk about Supergirl, and Sapphire, but she remained mute on the subject, much to Sam’s relief. Instead, Alex asked about Sam’s new (old), job.

         “CFO, so you’re a numbers gal,” Alex asked.

         “Yeah, you could say that,” Sam replied.

         “I find it fascinating that numbers come as such a complicated language to some people. It is quite simple really, and I am…” Brainy started, but Nia nudged his side. “Right.”

         “I swear he’s half computer sometimes,” Alex whispers as she leans into Sam. Sam laughs, and Alex smiles. And god does Sam miss that smile.

“You know I was surprised to hear you’re a CFO. But maybe you could give some financial advice,” Alex started. Sam wondered where this was going but she decided she was going to play along, against her better judgement.

“Oh, and what numbers would those be?”

“Well, I’ve been having some money issues, but I’ve recently figured them out. So I’m debt-free.”

“Okay,” Sam said, rather confused at Alex’s game, “So what can I do?”

Alex smiled, “Glad you asked. Since I’m now debt-free, I am also now date-free.”

There is then a gentle nudge. It was so slight Sam would have missed it if she wasn’t acutely aware of how close Alex just was. The touch sent fire through her body. A body that ached for her friend to remember her. Sam took a deep breath, but, God, she needed a drink. She sprang up from the table and walked, well almost sprinted for the bar. Kara and Lena watched the confused look on Alex as Sam rushed off.

Kara leaned over to Lena, “This isn’t good,” she whispered.

“Maybe inviting her wasn’t a good idea,” Lena added.

“Maybe, but we’re you going to leave her all alone tonight with Ruby out?”

“No,” Lena paused, “Kara, we need to fix this soon.”

“I know, we…we’re working on it,” a pain in Kara’s voice was clear. Lena kissed Kara’s temple, making her smile.

“I know, I know.”

\---

         What just happened? Alex thought Sam would have welcomed a little flirtation. She seemed comfortable around her. They’d seen each other a few times since Sam had moved. And each time Alex tried to zero-in on what she might have known about Sam, only to come up blank. So, Alex gave up trying to figure out if she already knew Sam and instead focused on getting to know her. And she quickly learned. She was smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous. Those glasses, those eyes, that smile. It was hard not to be dazed by Sam’s beauty. And she was thrilled Kara invited her along tonight. And it had been sometime since Alex had fun like this, so she thought she’d indulge in a little flirting. Alex never thought it would have backfired. But Sam’s sudden retreat spoke volume. Clearly Sam knew Alex, somehow, from somewhere. And Alex was worried she just opened an old wound of Sam’s that Alex was unaware of. So, ignoring the looks Kara was giving her, Alex got up and walked to the bar.

         She sat next to Sam, who was nursing quite a bit of rum, though it seemed to be ineffective against her. Alex ordered her own drink and figured out what to say.

         “I was having memory blackouts,” Sam confessed, looking down at her drink. “that’s why I left. There…there was something wrong with me. There was this doctor that helped me out, but I never really got over the fact I had memory blackouts, so I left. That’s why I was gone. I came back,” Sam paused, still not looking at Alex. But Alex listened, she just listened because maybe something about Sam would be revealed and Alex would remember her, “She was a good doctor. Funny too. And I didn’t mean to rush off there, it’s, you just remind me of her a bit. She joked that my memory lapses could be from,”

         “Caffeine withdrawal,” Alex joked. And Sam perked up, snapping to look at Alex with wide eyes and an open mouth of shock. “What,” Alex questioned, because why would that joke cause such a reaction.

         Sam looked defeated then, almost heartbroken, and Alex didn’t know why.

         “Nothing,” Sam said, “It’s just, she said the same joke.”

         There was swift blur in her mind, so fast that Alex barely registered it, and it was so random that Alex wasn’t sure it was real. It was just a red lollipop. That was it, a red fucking lollipop, and Alex had no idea why that image just conjured itself into her brain. She set it aside for now, she’d probably forget about such a random thing later anyway.

         “Well, us doctors, we usually have the same cheesy jokes. They don’t teach you as sense of humor at medical school.”

         “What do they teach you,” Sam asks, a little annoyed, though it doesn’t seem to be at Alex. So Alex thought she’d lighten the mood again, maybe even try to flirt again.

         “Well first rule of med school is to follow instructions. The second is pay attention...or something like that.”

And Sam is laughing. And Alex smiles, because her laugh is as beautiful as Sam. And Alex is rather distraught that she doesn’t know Sam, or at least she doesn’t think she does, but she wishes she would, because Alex wouldn’t mind listening to that laugh day in and day out. But Sam’s laugh has subsided, and once more she looks like she’s lost the world. Alex want’s make her feel better, but she doesn’t know how. Alex thinks maybe it had something to do with the doctor Sam mentioned, the doctor who helped figure out her memory lapses.

“Was it the doctor,” Alex asks, through hesitation. She doesn’t know Sam, and Alex doesn’t know if talking about it would even help her.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says, wiping a tear away that Alex didn’t even notice before.

“The doctor, you said I reminded you of her, that doctor, did you love her?”

         Sam visibly retreated, and Alex worried that she may have made a mistake.

\---

         “Did you love her?”

         There it was. That one word that had been nagging at her heart ever since she left National City. The word that Sam never wanted to confirm, while she never wanted it to go away. And it was because she didn’t know. She didn’t know if she loved her. How could she? They had become very close in the short time they new each other, and it was hard to forget the sly looks and flirty banter they’d exchanged. And it was hard to ignore the feeling so present in Sam when she’d see Alex with Ruby. It was hard to ignore when Alex so selflessly protected Ruby to endless bounds while Reign terrified the world. It was hard to ignore that Alex helped find a cure, helped fight Reign, helped clear Sam’s name from the DEO. It was hard to ignore that Sam might love Alex, because Sam think’s she loves Alex. Not loved, loves. Sam knows it. Try as she might to ignore it, she knows it. Hell, Ruby probably even knows it. Sam is pretty sure Lena knows it and if Lena knows it, surely Kara knows it. And Sam is kicking herself in the head because that entire year she was away, trying hard to keep her feelings hidden, focusing on recovering and mending her relationship with Ruby, it took one drink with Alex Danvers to unwind all the fragility that was her heart.

         Of all things, why did Alex ask that? Just add it to the list of things that shouldn’t be happening right now. Sam shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be thinking of how madly in love with Alex she is. She shouldn’t be here with Alex. She shouldn’t be talking with Alex. She shouldn’t be talking about Alex, with Alex, though Alex didn’t seem to be aware of that, because she’d just asked if she loved her. The doctor, who was Alex, and Alex didn’t even know.

         “I’m sorry,” Alex says, seeing as Sam still hadn’t responded, “I don’t mean to bring up…”

         “Yeah,” Sam says. And that word is out there, floating through the air, unable to be retrieved. She’d just confessed she loved Alex to Alex, while Alex was unaware of that, Sam had just said it. She said ‘yeah’. And honestly how stupid could she be? Sam shouldn’t be dropping these secrets. Because what if Alex remembers something and realizes Sam was talking about her? What if Alex realizes Sam had just confessed that she loves Alex and Alex doesn’t feel the same? What if the realization damages Alex’s mind in irreparable ways? What if… God, Sam needs to get out of here. She needs to stop. She has to stop everything with Alex. She can’t be around her until this fiasco with the Colonel is over. She can’t be around her until…until Alex remembers. Sam can’t allow Alex to remember anything until it is safe. Because she’d be putting Kara in danger. She’d be putting Lena in danger. If Alex suddenly remembers everything, what’s to stop Colonel Hayley from destroying all of them?

         “Hey,” Alex says, laying a hand on Sam’s shoulder, and God, the touch is so soft that Sam so badly wants to melt into it, but she has to get out of here. She pushes Alex away and sprints out of the bar, ignoring Alex’s voice. She sprints out to the street, no one is around, and Sam skyrockets into the night sky.

\---

         No one has seen Sam for two days. Aside from Ruby, Sam has avoided everyone. But when an alien rampage has found its way to a nearby park. Sam can’t ignore the calls for help. She meets up with Kara in the air, who ignores the fact she hasn’t seen or heard from Sam, and they get to work. A group of Infernian’s were terrorizing the Sunday park go-ers, and Kara and Sam were working on crowd control. Well, Sam was at least, Kara was working on getting the fiery attackers away from the park, while Sam was trying to get everyone to safety. And there was this one little girl, screaming for her mother, who was being stalked by an Infernian. Sam streaked over to the Infernian, where she swung the alien around and threw him towards Kara. But another Infernian was going to pounce on the child. Sam raced forward and placed her body against the flames, shielding the child from injury. However, Sam was just now realizing she was not as invincible as Kara. The flames burnt away pieces of her suit, exposing her skin, and the fire stung as Sam refused to move from her protective stance. She ignored the pain, hugging the screaming girl more tightly. But the Infernian continued it’s attack. But Sam wasn’t going to move despite the burning of her skin. Finally, the flames stopped. And Sam helped the girl to her mother, and immediately took off to help Kara, not bothering to see what had stopped the Infernian. Kara was battling her own, and Sam flew forward to tackle the assailant to the ground.

         And that was the last of them. They’d all been knocked out. And Sam was proud, there was very minimal damage to the park itself, and no civilians had been hurt. It was then Sam saw the savior who took care of the Infernian. They’re face was turned away. But the red hair and lithe body was a dead giveaway. Alex Danvers had pinned the Infernian to the ground, cuffing them and pulling them to the ground. Alex shoved the alien forward, and towards a DEO van. Sam hadn’t taken her eyes off Alex. She had a new suit too. It was black, of course, and was…Jesus, it looked good.

         And now Alex was walking towards her, oh god…Alex was walking towards her. And Sam didn’t know what to do. Maybe she could fy away. No, no that wouldn’t solve anything. But she really should avoid talking to Alex.

         “You,” Alex barked, “Sapphire,” Alex’s voice suddenly went very low, and Sam wasn’t sure if that was admiration or disgust. But the way Alex said it, it was commanding, and…

         _Fuck me,_ Sam thought. _Why’d she have to say it like that?_ Because Sam was frozen in place. And Kara was beside her, hyperly aware that Sam was freaking out.

         “Agent Danvers,” Kara greeted. And Sam could hear the heartbreak in her voice.

         “So now you’ve got a sidekick,” Alex quipped. Sam was visibly ticked off by the comment.

         “Well, Sapphire,” Alex taunted, “perhaps Supergirl failed to mention that you need to stay out of my way.”

         “We’re just trying to help,” Sam said. Her voice was quite, reserved. And it caught Alex off guard for some reason. Knowing Kara, Kara had probably just argued with Alex since this mind wipe, arguing that Supergirl was doing good. But Sam, she didn’t want to argue, she just wanted people to see that she could do good.

         “Well, I don’t remember anything about Reign. But as long as you. Continue to do good things and stay out of my way, we won’t have a problem.’

         Sam was hurt. It’s not that Alex was being rude. She just doesn’t remember. All she wanted was for Alex to remember. How could she not remember those few flirty moments? How could Alex not remember saving Sam? How could Alex not remember the look Sam had after she had Ruby back? Because Sam remembers that look on Alex’s face. The one of sadness, relief, joy, a whole slew of mixed emotions, but the most prominent Sam thought she saw was love. Sam didn’t really know how Alex felt before, but, Sam liked to think there was something. And now, nothing. Nothing because Alex doesn’t remember, and yes, her mind was wiped. And yes, it was to save Kara. And yes, that is important. But it doesn’t take the longing in Sam’s heart away. It doesn’t take the ache in her chest, knowing this beautiful, strong woman she so madly loved didn’t remember her. And Sam just didn’t know why.

         “How can you not remember me?” And, Oh God, did she just say that? Surely, she didn’t just say that.

         “What did you just say,” Alex wasn’t guarded in her question. No, she seemed, surprised. Well, Sam guessed that was well deserve, it was a surprising question, one she didn’t even expect she’d ever ask. Then a gasp from Alex, “Sam?”

         Oh no. Either two things are going to happen, Sam thinks. One, she remembered. She remembers Sam. She remembers something at least, or two, Sam just gave herself away as Sapphire.

         “You…you’re, you’re an alien,” Alex sounds almost worried.

         “Alex…Agent Danvers…I,” Sam wasn’t sure what to say. But she was cut off anyway.

         “Agent Danvers,” a booming voice shouted as it’s owner came nearer.

         “That’s Colonel Hayley,” Kara, who had been rather silent whispered in silence, only audible to Sam’s and Kara’s attuned ears. So this is the woman responsible for all the pain she was feeling. This was the woman that had scared Alex Danvers so much that she resorted to wiping her mind that her sister was Supergirl, and Sam.

         “Get out of here,” Alex ordered, before turning to talk to the Colonel.

         Kara grabbed, like forcefully grabbed Sam’s arm, and the rocketed into the sky. They didn’t stick around long enough to hear whatever Alex and Hayley were talking about. And they didn’t stop flying until they were high up in the stratosphere. And that’s where Sam started panicking.

         “Did I really just say that? And now she knows who I am…but she still doesn’t remember me? I mean, like….FUCK,” Sam screams out in the clouds. Kara didn’t say anything, she just hugged her friend tight, letting Sam cry out all the emotion she’d been building up. Sam knew all this was hurting her just as much, probably more. Sam knew the story. She knew that Kara risked everything to save her sister that night. And Sam can’t say that she wouldn’t do the same for Ruby. Because she would. Identity, privacy, security, all of it be damned if it meant keeping her little girl safe. But to have that experienced ripped away from you? Sam can only imagine how badly this must be tearing Kara apart. Sam knows Lena must be the reason Kara hasn’t completely broken down yet, and Sam also knows that, Kara, Lena, and J’onn are doing everything they can to stop this.

         Eventually, Sam is able to control her tears. And she and Kara gently glide back down to the Earth, settling back at Sam’s apartment, because Kara knew Ruby was all Sam needed right now.

         And Ruby wasted no time. Sam had changed out of her suit, took a shower, and after Kara had a quick look over at the burns, seeing no concerning damage, left the mother and daughter alone.

         And this is the part Ruby would usually be asking questions, but instead she asked, “Wanna watch a movie?”

         And honestly, Sam can’t think of a better thing than to just curl up with her daughter, eat bad food, and watch movies.

 

         It’s three days later when she receives a text. A text from someone she wasn’t quite expecting. Because why on Earth would Alex Danvers be texting her?

         ‘ _The alien bar, 7pm.’_ That was it. No other words. Just the request to meet her at the bar. And then another.

         ‘ _please.’_ Sam spent the next 10 minutes, okay really 30…okay maybe it was an hour, deciding whether or not to say yes. Every fiber in her heart screamed yes. Every beat screamed to be in Alex’s presence, but Sam knew, she knew this could be a bad idea. Alex may or may not, but most definitely knows Sam is the new addition to the Super family. But what Sam doesn’t know is if Alex remembers her. And if she doesn’t, Sam doesn’t want to risk her saying something that could unhinge the fragility that is Alex’s mind right now. But at the same time, what if when Alex’s mind is restored, what if Alex remembers Sam, would Sam be able to confront her feelings? Would she be able to tell Alex how she feels? Boy, what a concept that would be, revealing her feelings.

         _Christ Sam, listen to yourself, what are you…16?_ Then again, if she was 16, and she told Alex how she felt, she might very well be married to Alex, and Ruby possibly being a product of that marriage.

         “Damn it,” Sam curses, because she replies yes.

         Then another text.

         _‘Great, see you there ;)’_

Wait, did Alex just winky face her. Did…did she have a date? _Holy shi…_

  
         “So, it’s a date,” Ruby asks excitedly. Sam rolls her eyes.

         “No, we’re just going to talk.”

         “On a date?”

         “No, just drinks, and talking.”

         “On a date.”

         “Don’t you have homework to do,” Sam retaliated, throwing popcorn in her daughter’s face.

        

         But was this a date? It was a question raging in Sam’s mind. Because, she didn’t mean to, well, that was a lie, she definitely meant to, she’s dressed up. Black jeans, a white tank top and a dark jacket. Yeah, Sam definitely hoped this was a date. But she knew better, she knew Alex wanted to talk about Sapphire. But when she walked into the bar, her heart stopped. Because Alex Danvers was standing there in the bar. And everything about Alex screamed drop dead gorgeous. Her hair parted to one side, the leather jacket, the pants, like, _why do I put myself in these situations._

And then she turns to Sam, and, _fuck, that smile._ And why was Alex so happy so see her? Wasn’t it just earlier that week that Alex found out Sam had lied? And,

         “Sam,” Alex called over, waving her to the bar.

         Sam somehow took that first step forward. And so she sits next to Alex, and Sam is hyperly aware of how good Alex smells. Like lavender and…is that gunpowder, and why does that smell good? And Sam can’t really comprehend much else because Alex shrugs off her jacket and Sam realizes how well Alex’s shirt hugs her body. And Sam really needs to get her shit together because like really, they need to talk.

         “Why do you smell like gunpowder,” Sam asks.

         Alex smiles, “I was at the range a little earlier. Sometimes I can’t get the smell out.”

         “So,” Sam manages, “did…what did you want to talk about first?”

         Alex chooses her words carefully, “you’re an alien.” It’s not a question. Alex knows. “I don’t mean for that so sound so awful, but…Sam. I’ve been racking my brain these last few days. I think I know you.”

         Sam freezes, this is very thin ice.

         “But, I can’t remember. I don’t remember you in my life. And yet I remember Ruby. I don’t remember you, and yet I remember me helping a patient with memory lapses. I don’t remember you, but I remember something about Reign, and helping a woman hurt by her. I don’t remember you, but there’s brown eyes in my dreams that..that I remember cherishing.”

         Sam’s heart was rising quickly, because Alex’s hand is skirting her own, and Sam doesn’t want to indulge herself, and yet she so badly wants to feel Alex’s hand again.

         “Sam,” Alex whispers, “am I the doctor?”

         _YES! OH MY GOD! YES!_ Her heart is screaming for Sam to lurch forward and kiss the worry from Alex’s lips. But Sam can’t. She can’t risk Alex’s mind over a kiss.

         “Sam?”

         “Alex, I…I…”

         And Sam can’t talk. But…why can’t she talk? There’s lips on hers. Oh God, it’s Alex’s lips. Alex’s lips, on hers. And holy mother of all lesbians those lips are…and then it’s gone. And there’s horror in Alex’s eyes.

         “Alex.”

         “Oh God. I’m, I’m sorry. I-I-I was wrong. I don’t know you. I’m so sorry,” Alex rambles, taking her jacket and sprinting out of the bar. And Sam wants to spin around and catch up to Alex, pin her against the alley wall. But common sense takes over, she’s frozen to her seat. Unable to process any form of speech or thought. Because Alex’s lips were just on hers, and it was everything, yet nothing what she had hoped.

        

         Another three days pass. Sam doesn’t text Alex, Alex doesn’t text Sam. And honestly, Sam isn’t that surprised. And there are other things to worry about right now because something happened. Something happened, and Sam is horrified because the next step is either the end, or the beginning. Because the Vice President has been arrested. A Congress sub-committee or something found evidence that he orchestrated the attack on President Marsden. And so he’s been impeached and arrested. And then, following the string of people under his command, Colonel Hayley is fired from the DEO and court-martialed. And Kara immediately hauls Alex back to J’onn and her memories are restored. But Sam hasn’t gone to see her. She can’t, because there’s still so much unknown. Like, what can she say?

         “Hi Alex, I don’t know if you remember me now? But I’m back, also we kissed three days ago. God…that’s stupid.”

         And so, Sam was alone. Ruby wanted to spend the night with some friends, of course giving Sam grief as headed out, _“You know if Alex is back, you can actually have a…” “Go Ruby,”_ Sam smiled at the conversation now. She used to be annoyed by Ruby’s persistence, still gets annoyed by it, but it was a good skill. And Sam had a feeling Ruby will be smarter than her.

And so Sam was left to think on the day’s events. Kara had invited her over, but Sam had encouraged for her and Alex to catch up. ‘She’s your sister, and you guys have a lot to talk about,’ she’d said. And they did. Sam didn’t want to get in the way of the Danvers’ sisters. And Lena was busy at L-Corp, and CatCo, and the DEO, like did the woman ever sleep?

         But Sam was perfectly content to her night alone. She thinks she’ll indulge herself to a Netflix binge, maybe even catch up on Game of Thrones. She doesn’t think she’ll get much sleep tonight, so she starts a pot of coffee to keep her awake.

And then there’s a knock at the door. At first Sam thinks she imagines it, because who would be at her door. Did she order forget at just forget about? But the knock returns. So Sam grumpily gets up. The knocking continues, persistent…

         “I’M COMING,” Sam barks as she opens the door. And her breath is taken away.

         “Al…Al…Al,” but Sam is silenced when Alex puts a finger on Sam’s lips.

         “Samantha Arias. Born May 10, 1985, at least that’s what your human file says, I never cared you were an alien. I only cared that you were Samantha Arias. You have brown eyes, brown hair. You’re 5 foot 9…two inches taller than me but I never cared. You’re scared of needles. You love pancakes. You love Italian food. You love red lollipops. We met at a Supergirl statue unveiling when your daughter bumped into me. And we became friends afterwards. We had a girls night once, and you asked me and…you asked me if I was going to have kids. And I said I’ll just be the cool aunt. But then I saw Ruby. I saw Ruby and I knew I wanted kids too. I never blamed you, I never blamed Ruby for the decision in my life. But then the months passed and…then…then Reign happened. And I grew close to Ruby, I grew close to you. And Reign came along and scared everyone. Reign scared me, Reign hurt me, Reign hurt Kara. But I saved you. I worked so hard to save you because you’re my friend. I worked so hard to save you because I cared for you. I worked so hard to save you because,” Alex finally took a breath, releasing her finger from Sam’s lips. “Because I was falling for you.”

         Sam is only half sure Alex is even there, because, like what was happening?

         “Alex, I,” Sam knows the words are there. She knows the words are on her tongue. It was three words that mean different things in so many ways. Three words she was never sure she’d say to anyone but Ruby. Three words that had given her fear, anxiety, hope, and joy over the past year she’d been away. Three words, _CHRIST SAMANTHA JUST SAY THEM ALREADY._

         “I love you,” Sam breathes out, unable to keep the words in. And Alex’s breath hitches. But it’s a good kind of hitch. The kind of hitch that sent sparks flying through Sam’s veins. And then the door is closed, and Alex is kissing. And oh sweet heaven this kiss is everything. Because there are so many things Sam wants to say, so many things she needs to say, but it’s all being said with the kiss. The kiss says I love you. The kiss says I’m sorry. The kiss says I’m back, and I’m here to stay.

         And Sam can’t contain how amazing this is feeling. She pushes Alex up against the closed door and Alex moans into her mouth, and if doesn’t send Sam into a wild frenzy of emotion, Alex’s tongue does. But reality kicks in. They break the kiss, but their bodies are melted together.

         “Holy shit,” Alex whispers.

         “Alex, I’m sorry I didn’t come back. I’m sorry I didn’t call you, or text you. I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you.”

         “Why’d you come back for me?”

         “Because I missed you something fierce. God, it was so hard Alex. I love you so much and I just left. I had to be away from you. I couldn’t let you in on my life. I’d just recovered from Reign. The woman that broke your leg and nearly killed your sister.”

         “It was never you. Sam,” Alex pulls Sam to meet her eyes, “no, it was never you.”

         “That,” Sam puts her finger on Alex’s chest, pointing to her heart, “that’s why I love you. You never cared for Reign. You cared for the woman inside. You cared that she was someone. You cared for me. You cared for Ruby. And I love you because you only cared that I was safe and that I was getting better.”

         Their bodies were still practically one. Neither of them had the strength nor want, to move apart. Alex rested her forehead against Sam’s, “I told Kara to never let me force her to wipe my memories again. I never want to forget. I never want to forget you. I never want to forget your smile. I never want to forget the stupidly beautiful way you like lollipops. I never want to forget the times you looked by way and you made my heart soar. I never want to forget the fair moments we had where I felt like I could have a family. I never want to forget the moments where I just wanted to see you safe. I never want to forget the strong bond you have with Ruby. I never want to forget Ruby. But most of all, I never want to forget my love you.”

         And neither of them are talking. Neither of them are talking because their attacking each other with kisses. And they are frantic. The moving all about apartment, trying to make way for Sam’s bedroom. And they finally make it and begin delving into each other’s love. A shirt is dropped here, a bra is thrown there, and they are both so high on emotion that they don’t care how late their going to stay up. And when it’s 2…3…okay, maybe 5 rounds later, when they are teaming with sweat and glued to each other’s bodies, they both fall asleep to the sound of their breathing, not remembering, but memorizing, memorizing the pattern of the beat, memorizing the sound of their breath, memorizing the feeling of their love.

\---

Ruby wanted pancakes, and nobody made them better than her mom. So, she thought she’d head home early, asking Mrs. Johnson to give her a ride back. It’s an early Saturday morning. Ruby doesn’t expect her mom to be up but, oh, maybe she is. She sees coffee has been already made. But her mom is nowhere to be found. Maybe she’ll sneak a cup. She quickly pours and takes a sip, only to find it to be very old coffee. She spits it out in disgust and figures her mom forget to change it from yesterday.

“Mom,” Ruby calls out. No answer. Maybe she is still asleep. Oh…a perfect opportunity to surprise her. Ruby pulls out her phone to record the moment she’ll scare her mother.

Ruby tiptoes to her mother’s bedroom door. She’s already trying to hide the giggles. And so she opens the door, “Good morning sleepy head,” Ruby says into the camera. And there’s a body there groans it’s way out of the covers. And thinks she’s had her victory. But the body is not her mother. That’s, oh my god!

“Ruby,” Alex asks groggily.

“Alex?”

Now Mom has raised her head, “Ruby?”

“Mom? Alex?” And then Ruby runs out of the room, “OH! MY! GOD! I KNEW IT!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last bit was inspired by this post  
> http://daskey.tumblr.com/post/172681365808/a-quick-little-agentreign-ruby-inspired-by-this


	2. The Morning(After word)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you get the wordplay with that chapter title??
> 
> Anyway, I had a comment wondering if there'd be a 2nd chapter. At first, no, but I thought of fun and short concept. So this chapter occurs just before Ruby barges in on her Mom and Alex, and then an hour or so after

The Morning After

         _Holy shit_. That was Sam’s first thought… _holy shit._ Holy shit, because that just happened. FIVE times if Sam remembers correctly. And Sam can’t recall a greater night. The sheer passion and love Alex could give, it was beyond any known words. And Alex, oh my God Alex…the sounds she made, the touches she felt, Sam was sure she’d never feel anything greater in her life. And Alex was still here. Alex Danvers was in her bed, sleeping the morning away. Alex Danvers, a very naked Alex Danvers, was sleeping on her stomach, with the exposed skin of her back facing Sam. And oh, if Alex could see the giddy smile Sam wore.

         She leaned down a softly kissed the back of Alex’s collarbone, biting it gently. She trailed kisses down Alex’s spine as Alex softly moaned in pure joy.

         “That was one helluvah night,” Alex sleepily whispered into her pillow. And Sam laughed. Because _she_ was directly involved with making that night great. Her, AND Alex.

         “I’ve never been this happy since Ruby was born. God, I love you.”

         “Good,” Alex smiled, turning over to pull Sam down on top of her for a deep kiss. And Sam was just so stupidly happy. The woman of her dreams was pinned under her body, melting into every touch Sam was giving.

         “Mm,” Alex happily sighed. Because Alex was ecstatic beyond all logic. God, everything about Sam screamed happy. Everything about Sam screamed beautiful, everything about Sam screamed love. “I wish I never lost my memory. We should have done that sooner.”

         Sam smiled, kissing Alex’s neck, “I should have returned like, never left…We _should_ have done that sooner.”

         And Alex’s soft giggle is music to Sam’s ears. Like a song imprinted in the passages of time, one the survives any generation. Because if Sam was to live forever, Sam would listen to that song on repeat. She’d listen to Alex’s laugh forever, even if it was the only song stored on her phone.

         It was so easy to fall more in love with Alex. And it was the little things. Like the fact that there was a little spot on her neck that was ticklish, and a spot on her side, and Sam certainly had fun exploiting that fact. She had given Alex goosebumps earlier when she was kissing her back, like she didn’t think she could give someone goosebumps, and she did it.

         “Do you want some breakfast,” Sam asked, through a break of kisses across Alex’s chest.

         “Mm, no. I just want to lie hear with you a little longer,” Alex begged, trudging her body over Sam’s, lying her head on Sam’s chest. “I’m sorry I forgot you.” And Sam just wanted to kiss Alex’s sorrow away because there was nothing to be sorry for. “You were protecting your sister, and I think I’d do the same thing to protect Ruby. Alex, you have nothing to be sorry for.” And Alex curled in tighter to Sam’s body. It was different to say the least. And Sam felt privileged. Privileged to see Alex, not necessarily clingy, but, well Sam didn’t know what do call it. She’d never seen this side of Alex. A side that was open to being emotional and vulnerable. A side that showed love in touch and silence. And Sam loved this calm silence, the serenity, the serene surroundings of the scene were enough to help Sam forget the pain of the last few days.

         “How about we make a promise to each other right now. Let’s not apologize for the choices we’ve made in the past year. It’s done, we made them and there’s no changing them. Let’s promise to do our best in the future. Do our best to make sure them we are honest with each other, and come to each other when we are scared in this relationship.”

         Sam hadn’t even realized she had said it until Alex raised her head, “Relationship? And so what do you want us to be?”

         It was a fair question. They’d had sex, like a lot, last night. They’d confessed their love, also lot. They were far beyond being friends, but…oh screw. _Be bold Samantha._

“How about being my girlfri”

         “Yes,” Alex answered before Sam could get the word out. And Sam’s swears she feels her heart skip a beat. Or her breathe hitches, but she’s going to stick to the heart skipping thought, because Alex Danvers…ALEX DANVERS, just said yes to being her girlfriend. She actually said yes. And Sam can’t think of a better fact to fall back asleep to.

         And it’s maybe its an hour later when Sam stirs again. They’ve switched positions. Sam is lying her head against Alex’s chest, and it’s honestly the most comfortable she’s been, she doesn’t care to move. So she snuggles closer and Alex hand travels down Sam’s back, making small circles along the way and grazing Sam’s skin with her nails. And she’d be content to lie her forever. And she knows she has to pick up Ruby soon, but she also knows that Mrs. Johnson wouldn’t mind keeping around a little longer, so she falls back asleep.

\---

         Alex can’t recall feeling so, peaceful. It was a rare word for her. Because she was always fighting something. She was fighting herself, when she was coming out, she was coming to terms with who she was. And it wasn’t fighting persae, but Alex was new to that feeling, and she was worried about how it would change her. And thank God Kara was there every step of the way. But, there was still so much Alex was fighting herself over. Like when Alex was fighting the fact that she wanted kids and Maggie didn’t. Or when she was fighting with the fact she’d just broken up with Maggie because of kids and she was fighting herself over that Ruby was NOT the reason. Because Ruby couldn’t be. She really loved Ruby and Alex didn’t want to make the connection between her love for Ruby and her breakup with Maggie. And then Alex was fighting herself that she was falling in love with Sam. She was fighting with the question, is six months enough time to recover from a breakup? It felt too fast. But Alex couldn’t deny her feelings. She’d fallen so far, and there was no coming back, nor did she want to. She only wanted to fall even further. She was so in love with Sam, and it was so hard to let her go all those months ago. It was so hard, because Alex knew she should let Sam go. She shouldn’t ask her to stay, not like this. So Alex let her go. Alex let Sam go to let her recover. Let her recover with Ruby. But not a day went by where Alex didn’t miss Sam. And Alex knew she had taken Sam into account while her thoughts skirted over whether or not to wipe her mind to protect Kara. She just didn’t expect to forget Sam. Because Sam was someone she had never wanted to forget. And when Alex gained her memory back, she didn’t waste a second.

         She remembers after her memory was back, the talk with Kara was rather short, because her sister noticed Alex’s mind wasn’t present in their conversation.

         “ _Alex, do you have somewhere else you need to be?”_

_“No, Kara, I’m…”_

_“Alex,” Kara’s voice was loving, soft, but serious. Saying to Alex that she meant what she was about to say, “Alex, go get the girl.”_

_Alex considered Kara’s words, and honestly, she couldn’t take another second of not seeing Sam. So she kissed Kara’s forehead and started running for Sam’s apartment. And Alex had never been at such a loss of words before, because what was she supposed to say? How could she apologize for forgetting who Sam was? How could she forget this miraculous woman she’d fallen in love with? How could she possibly forget Samantha Arias?_

“Alex,” Sam asked softly, pulling Alex from her thoughts, and Alex didn’t want any other voice to pull her away from those thoughts. Alex’s voice was beauty against her ears. Her breath crept up against her skin, and goosebumps popped up on her skin. And she wanted to flip Sam over and kiss her senseless, but feeling Sam’s head on her chest, the weight of the woman she loved, Alex didn’t want to move.

         “Good morning sleepyhead,” A voice from the door cried out. Honeslty, what was Kara doing? Alex thought as she raised her head to see her sister. Only, when she saw how the voice belonged to, it was not Kara.

         “Ruby?”

         “Alex,” the young girl asked. Her face was stunned.

         And then Sam raises her head, “Ruby?”

         “Mom?” Oh no, “Alex?” And then Ruby scampers out of the room, screaming happily, “OH! MY! GOD! I KNEW IT!”

         And Sam groans, falling back down on Alex’s body, “Well shit,” she curses. And Alex wants to contain her laughter. She really wants to. Because she should be embarrassed. She should be embarrassed that she was just caught in bed by the daughter of the woman she was glued in the bed with. “She’s been trying to set me up with you ever since we came back,” Sam confesses. And Alex’s heart melts. Alex’s heart melts because the child that helped her come to terms with so many things, wants to set her up with her mother. And Alex can’t think of a more perfect scenario.

         “That’s really sweet,” Alex thinks.

         “She’s a little shit,” Sam mumbled into her chest. And Alex loses it. It’s the funniest thing to think of right now. “Oh shut up,” Sam says, playfully spanking Alex’s ass. “We should probably talk to her.”

\---

         Sam really should be embarrassed, but she’s running off the high from the previous night that she doesn’t really care. She Alex take their time getting out of bed. They distract each other with stolen kisses and gentle touches. They finally do make it to the kitchen, where Ruby is quiet, but wearing an obviously wide smirk.

         Sam and Alex aren’t sure how to approach the subject, so Sam takes to making a fresh pot of coffee, leaving Alex to sit across from Ruby at the table, staring awkwardly at the teen.

         “So, how’s school,” Alex starts, thinking of no other topics.

         “It’s going well.” Ales knows Ruby is just begging for the two women to admit that they’re in a relationship. “So…”

         Sam sighs, turning away from the coffee maker. “Yes, Ruby. Yes.”

         And Ruby jumps up from her seat “HELL YEAH!”

         She hugs her mother tight, then runs over and hugs Alex tight. Her two most favorite people in the world are together, and Ruby couldn’t be happier.

\---

         -412 days later-

If someone had asked Sam that barely after a year after she had returned from National City that she’d be with her wife and daughter, looking at adopting a child, well she would have said they were crazy. But not now. Not ever, because here she was at an adoption agency with her wife Alex, and her daughter Ruby. They would be adopting a baby girl. A baby girl whose mother passed away after birth. A baby girl who had no other family. A baby girl who Sam and Alex were determined to give a life. Determined to give them a home. Determined, to give them love they’d always remember.

**Author's Note:**

> That last bit in Chapter 1 was inspired by this post  
> http://daskey.tumblr.com/post/172681365808/a-quick-little-agentreign-ruby-inspired-by-this


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